Intermediate Composition

Examples of Memorable Detail in Picture Books

2008-10-16T19:40:00.002-05:00

We read a few picture books in class and hunted for examples of memorable language - figurative language, similes, metaphors, sensory detail, imagery, etc. Then as a group we presented our findings to the class on the smart board.

Our writing topic is to write a paragraph about our favorite place, favorite season, or favorite holiday - a topic that is easy to write about using memorable language, rather than a trip to the science museum or an essay on George Washington (although you could integrate memorable language into those essays as well).

Remember the layers of a paragraph that we talked about in class, and if you need help visualizing, picture the hamburger paragraph template that I showed you. The top bun is the topic sentence/lead and the inside parts of the hamburger are the support, and the bottom bun is the concluding sentence.

Adding Memorable Details

2008-10-15T18:11:00.003-05:00

There are many picture books that use figurative language and details that appeal to the senses to help get their message across. As a class, we're going to take a look at a few of these books and note what examples of figurative language or sensory detail we find in them. Once we've discussed the memorable details used in the picture books, we can work on how to integrate this language into our own writing.

Since we are in the midst of our expository writing unit, I'd like us to choose an information-giving prompt, such as a writing piece about our favorite place or our favorite season. We can model after Patricia MacLachlan’s story "All the Places to Love" for two reasons. In this story, the author uses a great deal of description, but also provides a great example of another skill we can work on - sentence fluency. She places prepositional phrases in a variety of places in sentences (beginning, middle, and end) and varies how she starts her sentences and her sentence length.

I'll demonstrate my technique to use sentence variety and include memorable details while we're in class, and then we'll type our writing piece on Friday, October 17 in computer lab 220.

You Get What You Give

2008-05-22T19:17:00.003-05:00

Respect for others should be a prerequisite to being a human being in society. As a teacher, I seem to get disrespected all the time but I still try to give my students respect no matter how they treat me. When a person gives a little respect, he or she should gain a little in return. In the movie Lean on Me, much like in my career, the school is faced with undoing the damage of treating students poorly and learns that a little bit of respect can go a long way.

Not treating students poorly is exactly what that principal of East Side High did to change the climate of the school. Mr. Clarke walked into a challenge - drug dealers running rampant, kids skipping class and smoking in school, graffiti and gang signs plastered on the walls, and failing students who couldn't pass a basic skills test. The problem seemed to be that the bad kids were bringing everybody down and no student was being respected because of that stigma. Clarke said it right when he walked into his first staff meeting and stated, "If you treat them like animals, that's how they'll behave." Because there were cages and gates around certain places of the school, the students didn't care how they treated others. Once the cages were removed, the drug dealers kicked out, and kids were given the respect they deserved, the school began to turn around. With a little bit of discipline and guidance, the kids were even able to raise their scores high enough to pass the basic skills test. The students had pride in the school, respect for their authority and respect for their peers - something that I think should just be natural in a human being.

Unfortunately what I see as a natural human quality isn't always the case - in the movie and in my teaching career. Since I so strongly believe in treating others the way I would want to be treated, I try to give my students a bit of respect. To me that means allowing them to use the restroom when they claim they have to go, giving them choices on assignments, and allowing them to have a few conversations with each other throughout class. I'll even wait to start class for a bit so that I don't interrupt them. I do that, though, believing that if I give them a little bit of respect to say what they want that when the time comes for me to say what I want to say, they'll listen. It doesn't always work that way, but treating my students with respect and the way I would want to be treated will continue to be a rule I live by.

If only everybody would live by the rule of respect, there would be fewer problems in the world. Just like Mr. Clarke said, if a person is treated poorly, they'll act poorly. I like to turn that statement around and treat people well hoping that they will treat me well in return. Regardless, the students at East Side High learned a valuable lesson in respect and I hope my students do, too.

May 23 - Lean on Me

2008-05-21T14:46:00.002-05:00

Watching the film Lean on Me has really encouraged me to question the management style of an administrator. Of course as a teacher I have a different perspective than you as students, but I hope this film raised as many questions and opinions within you as it has within me. I'll be sure to get my response to the film up on here when we finish it.

The film Lean on Me has a few good lines. Some I would like to share include:
"If you treat them like animals, that's how they'll behave."
"If you don't succeed in life...I want you to blame yourself. The responsibility is yours."
"One bad apple spoils the bunch."
Any one of these lines could be developed and analyzed in an essay.

May 16 - Paragraphs

2008-05-15T16:20:00.002-05:00

Students -
Your focus today is paragraphs. Remember what we learned about topic sentences on p. 40. The details included in your paragraph need to support that topic sentence and not stray. Speaking of details, there are a few ways to organize them in a paragraph - order of importance, order of time, order of location (p. 75). There are also three ways to develop a paragraph - facts, examples, anecdotes/stories (p. 50).

On Wednesday at the end of class you were supposed to write 3 different types of paragraphs. If you have those done, great. Just type them, proofread and print them. If you didn't get those done in class, you need to do them now.

Once you are done with your 3 paragraphs from earlier this week, you are to continue your work on the Ruby Bridges - Purposeful Paragraphs on Memorable Teachers assignment. Follow the directions on the handout. Model after my sample. Look at the rubric for how you are going to be graded. Peer review and fill out the salmon-colored half sheet. Take your peer's advice. See p. 79 in the book for tips on revision. When finished, save, then print your essay and give it to the sub. Don't forget everything else we've learned about writing - catching lead, conclusion, memorable details, correct sentence structure, etc. As always, proofread your writing today for grammar and mechanics errors.

I can't wait to read these next week. Hope you have a good weekend - work hard and don't cause trouble :)

School Ties - Friday, May 9

2008-05-09T10:26:00.002-05:00

Today your job is to analyze the big idea in the film School Ties. What was the writer/producer/director trying to comment on humanity? After you figure out an answer to that question, analyze HOW that was portrayed in the film. Use characters, setting, plot events, conversations and images/symbolism to support the big idea you've chosen. Remember, there can be more than one message taken from a long text (film) that applies to humanity.

While I was viewing the film, I wrote down a few lines that I thought would be important (since I knew the ending and had viewed the whole film, this was easier for me to determine importance). You may want to quote a few of these characters in support of your big idea.

Dad to David - "Do you want this life?" (as they're leaving the plant)
Dad's last words to David - "Make us proud."
Coach to David - "Don't tell people anymore than they need to know."
One of the guys on the football team - "Everybody knows not to go on someone else's turf, right?"
Symbol - removing the star of David necklace before showering.
Dillon to David - "You people are very determined."
Headmaster - "Was it worth it? Breaking a tradition to win a game?" David replied, "Your tradition or mine?" (on the Jewish holiday)
Dillon to David - "If you get what you want, you'll deserve it. If you don't, you'll manage."

Paragraph One: Attention getter/lead that hooks the reader. Mention the film title and basic plot and characters. Thesis for your paper is the big idea of the film. Example: The film School Ties reminds viewers that having honor and respect for a personal belief system is more important than falling into the crowd.

Paragraph Two +: Support your big idea with examples from the film. I would start proving my thesis above by talking about how David was originally told to hide his religion and how that started to cause problems in his life when people found out about it.

Paragraph 3 or final paragraph: Conclusion. Wrap up your major point (to prove the big idea of the film). Briefly retouch what you've talked about, and then leave us with a clincher.

Stressful, But Rewarding

2008-05-01T16:19:00.003-05:00

There's nothing more rewarding as a teacher than watching a student finally get something he or she has been struggling with. In my career as an English teacher, I sometimes have successes like that. Although my job can be very rewarding, I also encounter some problems with my chosen profession, such as unmotivated students, having to give and grade tests, and lots of stress.

There are many times when my job is overwhelming. Especially in my first year at Clinton High, I have extra work learning what it is I'm supposed to cover in the curriculum and then creating materials to support that. Since I spend a lot of time planning, it is difficult to keep up on grading. Being required to give tests and grades is something that I don't always love about my job. Sometimes I feel like I am overwhelmed and getting stretched too thin, but it is definitely worth it.

Despite a few minor downfalls, my job as an English teacher is totally worth it because I am doing what I love and feel I excel at. Watching my students learn and succeed is very rewarding and motivating to keep plugging away at what I do. My belief is that there's nothing more important to be learned in school than the foundations of language arts. It's what I have lived and breathed my entire life, and now I can pass that on to my students. A few other benefits of being a teacher include summers off to read and continue learning (and relaxing), excellent insurance and benefits, and respect from peers.

Even though there are a few downfalls of being an English teacher, like all the paperwork and stress to meet curriculum guidelines, it is a very rewarding job. I've found that there's no better job for me. I wouldn't change what I do for the world - it's who I am.

Friday, May 2

2008-04-30T11:16:00.003-05:00

Students,
Your task today is to type your pro/con paper modeled after the book "How I Became a Pirate" by Melinda Long.
You will be assessed on the organization trait of writing. That means I am looking for a strong lead and conclusion, transitions between ideas and paragraphs, a clear organizational structure (pro vs. con), and details that fit where they belong. If you're still not sure how to write any of these things, please ask for help.
Always remember the other things we've worked on in class, such as the ideas & content trait of writing, sentence structure (watch for fragments, run-ons and comma splices), punctuation, and subject verb agreement.
Visit the website for this lesson plan. Read the student directions and use the interactive buttons for help if you need it. Because this lesson was adapted from this website, you have the chance of getting published just like the jedi sample you read. This would be a good goal to shoot for.

Repairing Sentence Structure

2008-04-27T18:04:00.003-05:00

When you finish your Friday writing piece, work on recognizing sentence fragments. Visit this website and take the 40 question quiz (it won't take long). Show me your results for extra credit on your paper:
http://www.quia.com/pop/13222.html

Sample Paper with good ideas and organization

2008-04-24T15:56:00.004-05:00

Ms. Kranzusch
Intermediate Comp.
Writing Prompt #7

Soaking up the Sun in Mexico

The sun shines brightly from a clear, blue sky, warming my skin as I bask in the sun. I am enjoying my vacation by lying on a pool chair at the Barcelό Maya resort. In the Riviera Maya of Mexico, it seems the sun is always shining. This makes for a very nice, relaxing vacation in a beautiful environment.

The resort is decorated with natural flora that thrives in the warm temperatures of Mexico. Palm trees stretch over pathways and provide shade on the beach. Gorgeous pink flowers brighten bushes in landscaped patterns throughout the resort. The wind blows freely through the stucco buildings, cooling the heat of the day just right.

A retreat from the heat, the pool sparkles from the corner of my eye. Its bright blue water beckons me for a dip. After I give in, a walk along the beach invites warm sand to creep between my toes. From my lounge chair the ocean waves crash melodically against the shore, lulling me to sleep.

When I awake, I am reminded of the warm sun against my skin as I lay by the pool. There’s no other place in the world I would rather be. The beautiful landscape, warm temperatures and relaxing environment are just what I need to soak up the sun in Mexico.

Friday April 25th

2008-04-24T15:20:00.004-05:00

Your purpose for writing today is to score highly on the organization trait of writing. As far as the topic goes, we're finishing up Chapter 6 in the textbook and the prompts to choose from are on page 269. You could also model after Thursday's lesson on organization and write about the good and bad sides of television. If you'd like to do something else, please let me know.

Where you should begin is with good ideas, which we worked on the last two weeks. Keep your topic narrow and manageable, choose details that support your topic, and create memorable details that move your topic or theme forward. If you have any questions on this, consult your yellow handouts or see me.

From there, I think you need to try out one of our types of leads - something that will match your topic and paper but also grab your reader's attention. Remember how the story of Aunt Marva hooked you into the television paper. Remember how Laurie Halse Anderson hooked you into the story Twisted. In your first (introduction) paragraph, you should also include a thesis - what your paper is about in one line, without giving the entire thing away.

As far as the other components of the organization trait, include transition words that help your reader navigate through your paper. This is especially important when you switch sub-topics (like between paragraphs - see the green handout for examples of this). Use phrases like "In addition to..." or "Although it may seem to have many negatives,..." Write your body paragraphs, but be careful to move at the same pace through them and guide your reader with transition words and phrases. Order your paragraphs and ideas logically, in a way that makes sense - unlike the first television paper we read.

Finally, you'll need a good conclusion. In that paragraph, wrap up your main points without repeating your introduction or thesis word for word. Then leave your reader with a clincher - some line that leaves the reader fulfilled and happy with what you've had to say and maybe hopeful for their own lives. This is kind of difficult, so see the green handout with examples and ask for help if you need it.

I've got a sample paper for you. Please be sure to take a look at it. Also, score yourself using the organization rubric and turn that in with your paper.

Before posting to your blog

2008-04-17T12:09:00.002-05:00

Read earlier posts by me down at the bottom of the page about our purpose & audience when writing publically.

Thursday, April 17

2008-04-10T15:36:00.004-05:00

You have two options for regular 20 point Friday writing prompt.

The first is to choose a prompt from the end of chapter 10, p. 437. This was the chapter that focused on crime and violence in society. You'll receive bonus points for using new vocabulary specific to that chapter (we tested on that last week).

The second option is to choose a line from the chapter 5 essay, p. 164, "Teenagers in Dreamland." Either argue for it or against it, using evidence and details to back up your position.

Your focus is the ideas & content trait. Focus your topic, use memorable details, and leave no questions in your reader's mind.

Friday's writing piece

2008-04-10T11:26:00.002-05:00

Your goal today is to revise your piece that developed from a special day and the read aloud of Patricia MacLachlan's "All the Places to Love," (April 1) or an event from your life map essay with a theme, memorable details and a moral (April 7).

With both of these prompts, our focus was the ideas & content trait. We also worked on sentence fluency and varying the placement of prepositional phrases in your writing, much like Patricia did in her story. She also used very memorable details, like the trout sparkled brightly in the water, which was another focus of ours.

Your purpose today is to take either one of these pieces and revise them. We are hoping to get some of our work published on the writing fix website: http://writingfix.com/Picture_Book_Prompts/AllPlacesLove4.htm. On this website, there are lesson ideas for teachers and the six traits of writing using all kinds of books. The website also likes to post student samples, and it is in need of some for the Patricia MacLachlan special days to love lesson. Here are the student directions for this lesson: http://writingfix.com/Picture_Book_Prompts/AllPlacesLove2.htm. Reading through and following those will help us meet the requirements for what they're looking for in a student sample.

Writing with a theme is something else we worked on this week. Most of our theme and moral papers were very good. Your piece for that assignment might transform into something for this that could be published.

Remember to use memorable details, focus your writing to a narrow topic, write with a theme and purpose, and vary your sentence structure. Save your paper into omni storage, Kranzusch folder, under WP #4 folder.

When you are done with your piece for publishing, read the next post.

Read before you begin

2007-10-18T07:50:00.002-05:00

Welcome Intermediate Composition students!

Read the "Our purpose" post made on October 12 first. Then read the post on "Audience" made on October 18.

When posts are added to my blogspace, the most recent posts are at the top, so you will have to do some scrolling. Always check the top post for new information before you go into your own blogspace.

Audience

2007-10-18T07:50:00.001-05:00

When writing online, you have a larger audience than you have ever had before. You are not writing papers for just me to read; you are writing them for your peers and whoever else happens upon your blog space.

Before writing, think carefully about your audience and how they will react to your thoughts on the topic at hand. If you are writing about obesity and how it is a terrible thing, keep in mind some people who read your blog may be obese themselves. If you are responding to a prompt question, keep in mind your readers don't know the prompt. Opening with "I don't agree with this because..." won't work, because your readers don't know what 'this' is. If you are writing about your novel, keep in mind that we haven't read your book. You are the expert on it and need to give enough information that we can all understand your personal responses to it and can therefore respond ourselves.

After writing, your audience will let you know what they were thinking about your post with comments on your blog. When making comments yourself, keep them brief and to the point. If your comment gets too long, it should be a post on your own blog space. Consider who is going to read your comment and also the writer of the original post. We wouldn't want to offend anyone.

Most importantly, just remember how big your audience is now. Plan ahead what you are writing. Choose words carefully. Give enough information so that readers from the outside will understand your writing. Organize your thoughts. Proofread for errors in grammar and mechanics. Consider your audience's viewpoints on a topic. All of these things we will continue to work on, but for now, we wouldn't want to sound uneducated or irresponsible in front of the whole world, would we?

Our purpose

2007-10-12T13:55:00.000-05:00

Welcome to our new CyberSpace! It is here that we will give ourselves a public audience. Writers need a public audience to create relevancy and accountability. This space will be used primarily for two things.

First, it will be used to discuss the books we are reading. We will make posts about what is happening in our personal reading book (summary), ask questions about our book, make predictions, and respond to the book (make connections to our own lives). You will be able to read about 19 different books, and hopefully you will find yourself with a list of books you want to read.

Second, we will also make posts about controversial issues. We will use this space to publicly defend our position on issues we discuss in class - such as smoking in public places, abortion, obscenity, capital punishment, school, beauty, and censorship. It is on this public space that we need to think carefully about our thoughts, proofread and edit our writing, evaluate our sources and provide evidence for our beliefs. This will make us better writers!

To add another level of engagement, we will also comment on each other's posts. This will make our experience more like a discussion and promote collaboration.